what do you think of this song I made up? im 13 thx?

carol · #1 (**permalink**) 10-13-2007, 07:40 PM

VERSE: When I felt you touch me,my life turned into a dream. it was a feeling i couldnt believeMy heart stayed beating twice as fast.... why didnt my love for you last.!?CHORUS: No one, no one, no one can ever make dreams last forever,pretendingwont make anything better....baby im gonna leave, but we'll pick this back up againmy heart is just to broken to give.....BRIDGE: I hope you understand, we're just too young to make a plan, but one day our love just may be...........a happy endingyeah2ND VERSE: When I look into your eyes, I'll always remember our first time,the time we kissed and said our good-byes,I see the sadness in your eyesRE-PEAT CHORUS........then: When I look into your eyes, I'll always remember our first time....tell me if you like it or if i need to work on something. also is there a FREE website to submit this in a contest or radio ONLINE maybe?? thanx5wow i seriously dont know of any alicia keys songs that i have her

nailpolish · #2 (**permalink**) 10-13-2007, 07:55 PM

mmmm. this sounds like alicia keys' new song

bennyc94 · #3 (**permalink**) 10-13-2007, 08:51 PM

I like it.My songs are demented and disturbed.But this is great.What kind of music are looking to put it into?

sweet gal · #4 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 01:42 AM

it's really nice

~girlygirl~ · #5 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 03:47 AM

it sounds like that new song from alica keys

neptune1a2a · #6 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 07:30 AM

i comment your other question thing. i think it is really good. i would lissen to it. you need to enter it. did you come up with a name? good luck. i hope you win.

Stef S. · #7 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 02:00 PM

Pretty good!Maybe add bigger words to make it sound more poetic.But I like it, and if there IS a website that you can send this into then you should! (Sorry, I dont know one.)

tanni t · #8 (**permalink**) 10-14-2007, 06:39 PM

It made me think of alicia keys's new song

beautiful.milexxx · #9 (**permalink**) 10-15-2007, 12:53 AM

well mmmmm. its okay but why copying alicia key's with "no one" three times. bit to short aswell.

radharani · #10 (**permalink**) 10-15-2007, 03:52 AM

god what are you doing what are you doing